Please, Lord

She lies down in bed. The lights are off. The streetlamp from the road outside her window casts an orange glow on the otherwise dark room. The fan is whisking around in dizzying circles. Her wet hair dampens the red checkered pillow case on which she rests. Everything is ready for hibernation... except for her.

She's awake. Her eyes are open, not looking at anything in particular, and she prays.

God, when will I meet him? When will I finally get to meet the one whom you have chosen specifically for me? Do I know him? Surely not. What will he be like? His personality? His sense of humor? What's happened in his life? What has shaped him into who he is? God, do You even have a husband for me? Please, Lord... please, say yes.

Tears have been a constant companion. OBU is swarming with couples -married and dating. I'm surrounded by mirrors that point out that I am single. God, I know You've told me to be content in You alone. I have been. From my knowledge, I have not seen anyone who You would desire me to be with. I understand that; therefore, I'm okay with being single. I just want some reassurance that You do have someone out there for me. Someone that loves You more than he could ever love me. Someone to share a life yearning for Jesus with. Someone to proclaim Your glory with.

Please, Lord.... please, say yes.

I have been memorizing and reciting Psalm 62:1-2. "My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." I keep on trying to remind myself of Your providence. I keep a constant weight on the promises Your Word holds. May I never stray from Your Word. It is my food. My spiritual food.

Lord, there are times when I feel so alone. I know You are there. I know You see me when I cry, when I'm exhausted from school, when I just want to roll up in a ball and pull the covers over my head and never see the light of day again. You see all. Everything. You know my heart. You know my desires. You know my emotions. Lord, let me be so filled with Your love. Let my cup runneth over.

Please, Lord... please.

If now is not the time that I should meet him or know him, please, Lord, ready us for each other. Prepare me spiritually to meet and get to know him and may You do the same for him. Keep us from sin. Keep us from falling away from reading and studying Your Word. Help us learn who Your are and what You require of us. I praise You that there will never come a time where we will know You completely. Let us strive to know You deeper and love You more passionately!

Bless him deeply, Lord God. Bless him with Your love, for Your love is the only thing that can suffice.

As tears fall from her eyes to make another damp spot on her pillow, she sighs in comfort of knowing that the Lord is still God. He is still in control. He understands all of her worries and emotions. He is Lord of all.

Her eyes flutter to a close as sleep claims her, and right before she succumbs to unconsciousness, she swears she feels two arms hold her close, just like her dad used to do when she was little.

Please, Lord.